One of the most difficult lessons I teach in our Social Justice & Peacemaking class at NYU is one of Dr. King's 6 primary principles of nonviolence. The principle challenges us to: Accept suffering without retaliation for the sake of the cause to achieve the goal.
According to King, "Self-chosen suffering is redemptive and helps the movement grow in a
spiritual as well as a humanitarian dimension. The moral authority of
voluntary suffering for a goal communicates the concern to one’s own
friends and community as well as to the opponent." Dr. King's Redemptive Suffering.
Most ask, why would anyone freely choose suffering? Why would anyone fast, for example, or freely submit to verbal or even physical harm? The answer, for King, Gandhi and countless other spiritual warriors who challenge us to consider the way of love, compassion and active nonviolence, is as simple and as complex as the word truth. According to these peace and spirit warriors, truth cannot be found alone, without the other, even our enemy. And our enemy, even perpetrators of violence, possess, somehow, a piece of the truth. As Thich Nhat Hanh (who Dr. King nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize) says, we "inter-are." We are inextricably connected. Thus, we cannot, as a people, as a society, make our way to the truth without one another.
Furthermore, these spirit warriors challenge us to consider that harm to another does harm to the self; and harm to the self results in harm to all. We all are a part of the fabric, the web, of life, for better or worse. Again, it's as simple and as complicated as the scriptural mandate to "love your enemy."
Spiritual traditions do not merely tell us that we must love one another; they add (though we don't often want to really consider what it truly means, myself included) that we must find a way to love, even our enemies. As King shares, that does not mean that we have to like our enemies. It does mean, however, that we have to live lives, to the best of our ability, that invite our "enemies" to see differently, to turn from violence and war and hatred, to see that they, all of us, are members of the human family, a community. Subsequently, in the words of Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, we, individually and together, either "get busy living or get busy dying."
The Buddhists remind us that life is suffering. No one escapes suffering. The question is will our suffering bring us together or divide us. Will it help us work together for peace and deeper understanding or will it destroy us? King reminds us that we have a choice. If we want to be spiritual warriors, if we want to be fully human, we must accept suffering without violent retaliation for the sake of our collective redemption and liberation. This does not mean that we seek suffering for its own sake, or that we invite or accept abuse; rather, it means that when suffering comes, we refuse to inflict suffering in return. Again, this is not easy. This is why it is the way of the spiritual warrior; it takes profound courage. King and others tell us, however, that if we can do so, we invite transformation of heart and mind that brings the possibility for true and lasting peace and freedom.
Liu Xiaobo, 2010 Nobel Peace Laureate from China, a spiritual warrior, in the face of violence, abuse and oppression, exclaims, “I have no enemies and no hatred." In his trial, where he was sentenced to eleven years in prison for speaking out on behalf of democracy and freedom, he proclaims: "But I wish to make clear that I continue to stand behind my 'June 2nd Hunger-Strike Declaration' of twenty years ago: I have no enemies, and no hatred.… Hatred only eats away at a person’s intelligence and conscience, and an enemy mentality [as our country since the Mao era has seen] can poison the spirit of an entire people, lead to cruel and lethal conflict among our own people, destroy tolerance and human feeling within a society, and block the progress of a nation toward freedom and democracy. For these reasons I hope I can rise above my personal fate to contribute to progress for our country and to changes in our society. I hope that I can answer the regime’s enmity with utmost benevolence, and that I might use love to dissipate hate." [Link, Perry (2011-05-10). Liu Xiaobo's Empty Chair: Chronicling the Reform Movement Beijing Fears Most; Includes the full text of Charter 08 and other primary documents (Kindle Locations 768-770). Random House Inc Clients. Kindle Edition.] See also: I Have No Enemies.
I leave you with the words of Mahatma Gandhi. They capture the essence of the warrior spirit that has the power to lead us beyond suffering to sacred salvation:
"I am not a visionary. I claim to be a practical idealist. The religion of nonviolence is not meant merely for the rishis and saints. It is meant for the common people as well. Nonviolence is the law of our species as violence is the law of the brute. The spirit lies dormant in the brute and he knows no law but that of physical might. The dignity of man requires obedience to a higher law—to the strength of the spirit.
“I have therefore ventured to place before India the ancient law of self-sacrifice. For satyagraha and its offshoots, non-cooperation and civil resistance, are nothing but new names for the law of suffering. The rishis who discovered the law of nonviolence in the midst of violence were greater geniuses than Newton. They were themselves greater warriors than Wellington. Although knowledgeable in the use of arms, they realized their uselessness and taught a weary world that its salvation lay not through violence but through nonviolence." [Attenborough, Richard; Mahatma Gandhi (2001-10-19). The Words of Gandhi (Newmarket Words Of Series) (p. 41). Perseus Distribution-A. Kindle Edition.]
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Anyway
This version of the poem Anyway, based on a composition originally written by Dr. Kent Keith, is attributed to Mother Teresa. It hangs on the wall of the Missionaries of Charity's home for children in Calcutta. I had the privilege of living and working with Mother Teresa for a summer in 1996. These words inspired her and remained very close to her heart. By her deeds, she brought them to life and challenged us to live them as well. Even if you'd rather not have these words speak to you, I find that they will speak to you anyway...
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Anyway
People are
often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
To see each other through
I have returned from some time away and once again will be posting a weekly blog here on Nicotera Notes - hopefully providing tools, resources and insights that are useful to you as we all seek to live our truth in the world. I'd like to dedicate this reflection, my first in while, to all those affected by Sandy, in particular to all those who, in the midst of great trial, helped "to see each other through."
Last week, while attending the Association of Fundraising Professionals of NJ's (AFP NJ) annual conference on philanthropy, I had the opportunity to spend a few moments with AFP's keynote speaker, author, entrepreneur and co-founder, Chairman & CEO of BCT Partners, Dr. Randal Pinkett.
What impressed me most about Dr. Pinkett was not that he had won The Apprentice, has multiple degrees from Oxford, MIT and Rutgers, or even that he was a Rhodes Scholar. What impressed me most about him was the fact that long before I met him at the Conference, out of the public eye, he took time to mentor one of our students from Newark's Cristo Rey School, Christ the King Prep.
Dr. Pinkett, from my perspective, walks the walk when talking about the importance of giving back to the community and building Dr. King's beloved community. He gave our student, Robert D'Ambreville, the opportunity to work at BCT Partners; but more than this, he took the time to mentor a young man from Newark, encouraging him and helping him to see that with hard work, discipline and perseverence, he can accomplish his dreams and realize his deepest desires.
One of the things Dr. Pinkett shared with us during his remarks remains with me, especially as I think about Robert, now a college sophomore, and as I reflect upon the devastation, loss and pain so many of us experienced as a result of "Super-storm Sandy" (which is ever-present for us as we wait, with a patched roof, for insurance and FEMA money to arrive having had a tree fall on our home, but deeply grateful for our health and safety). Dr. Pinkett said that "we must not see through each other but rather see each other through." What inspires me about Dr. Pinkett is not his charisma or intellect, though I respect and appreciate both, but what speaks to me in the depths of my heart and soul, what moves me in the marrow of my bones, is the fact that he "helped see Robert through."
Similarly, what encourages me, despite Sandy's destruction, is that so many neighbors and strangers alike took the time, and continue to do so, "to see each other through." In a fast-paced society and a culture that often moves at the speed of technology, and seems to be careening out of control, in a society where, let's face it, we often see through each other and go about our business without paying much attention to the needs of our neighbor, Dr. Pinkett and all the ordinary heroes and inspirational neighbors and strangers who came together "to see each other through" during and after Sandy invite me and all of us to remember what is most important, that we truly find our best selves and deepest truth when we lose ourselves in service to, and care for, one another and see each other through.
For more information, check out: Nicotera Consulting; or on Nicotera Consulting on Facebook
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dear Followers,
I will be featured on June 3. I hope that you will join us. More details follow.
Featuring the work of 15 expert life coaches, the event showcases the unique work of the co-authors of the widely-anticipated IAPLC book release, How To Create A Rich, Successful, and Fulfilling Life: Dynamic Tools for Overcoming Obstacles and Creating Rapid Transformation, slated for publication in June.
IAPLC is an International professional association dedicated exclusively to the life coaching industry with membership standards based on coaching experience and client references. The IAPLC combines a premier user-friendly online directory with group business-building activities for its members so they can grow their coaching businesses and get more clients.
During this telesummit, these 15 expert coaches, all members of the IAPLC, provide a rich and empowering experience for the audience, sharing top secrets for overcoming obstacles, making transformations, and collectively healing the planet.
In the IAPLC telesummit, individuals ready to grow their life’s purpose will have the opportunity to experience the work of expert life coaches first-hand, accessing ways to:
Impact your abilities to implement boundaries
- Overcome challenges with mindset tools
- Release emotional trauma
- Experience joy and enthusiasm
- Explore what’s holding you back
- Forgive powerfully and completely
- Skyrocket your net-worth
- And much more!
http://iaplifecoaches.org/telesummit-registration.html
See you there!
Much peace,
Anthony
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
LIN-SANITY Lessons
To LIN-finity and Beyond.... NYC gets a shot of Adrena-LIN... What is going on with the New York Knicks and the Jeremy Lin craze? What does it have to teach us about ourselves, about teamwork, persistence and leadership?
Beyond the 7 straight wins since Jeremy has started at point guard, beyond scoring 136 points in his first 5 NBA starts, the most by any NBA player since the NBA merged with the ABA in 1976, it seems to me that something is happening that transcends a mere Charlie Sheen-esque "LIN-ing." There is an energy that is contagious that has captured the imagination of millions of fans, from President Obama to basketball aficionados globally. Yet, even beyond the world of sports, the Jeremy Lin story has sparked interest and excitement. Maybe like you, I find myself asking, Why? and What, if anything does it say about us? What does this story have to teach us about our life and leadership?
What draws us to this story? I would suggest that it has something to do with an "underdog" who makes good. I would suggest that it has something to do with challenging and breaking down stereotypes - Ivy League graduates (Lin is a Harvard grad) and Asian-Americans aren't supposed to be NBA stars. I would suggest it has something to do with our attraction to a star who appears, in many ways, to be quite ordianry, even humble. I would suggest it has something to do with our fasination with a star who talks more about his teammates and teamwork than himself and his own accomplishments and talents. I would suggest that it has something to do with the triumph of the human spirit, the power of dedication, determination and hard work. I would suggest that it has something to do with a role model who leads by example and who concerns himself more with how to help his those around him look good than looking good himself.
Admittedly, this public story is only a little over a week old, but clearly who Jeremy Lin is today has a great deal to do with who he has worked so hard, day-in and day-out, to be. He watches films to learn from his mistakes; and he understands that his mistakes are just opportunities for growth and learning. He speaks in every interview about camaraderie and connection, about the friendships that exist off the court as well as the way his teammates support one another on the court. His example, the way he carries himself on and off the court, inspires not only his teammates to work and play harder, but also provides all those who watch with insight into the power of athletes and individuals coming together as a team, with a common purpose, to accomplish a common goal.
So, as many of us continue to follow this LIN-deralla story, I hope that we all get a little LIN-fected with the desire to persist in pursuing our dreams and discover that the fun and the reward are as likely to be found in the process of following as they are in the realization of those dreams. I hope that we learn a little something from Jeremy Lin about leadership - that true leadership requires sacrifice, selflessness, authenticity, life-long learning and teamwork.
Thank you Jeremy for your good example and for the joy you have already brought to so many. Thank you too for your commitment to giving back to others, for your passion and energy, and for your willingness to spend summers in Taiwan coaching young kids and helping them learn the sport you clearly love so much.
You have reminded me, in your short time as a "star" that the true stars, true leaders, are those who create community and make those around them better; the true stars, true leaders, are those who build up others rather than break others down; the true stars, true leaders, are as likely to assist as they are to score; the true stars, true leaders, lead by example; the true stars, true leaders, do not necessarily do great things, but rather do all the little things with great passion, compassion and love.
Thank you Jeremy. LIN Long and Prosper!
Beyond the 7 straight wins since Jeremy has started at point guard, beyond scoring 136 points in his first 5 NBA starts, the most by any NBA player since the NBA merged with the ABA in 1976, it seems to me that something is happening that transcends a mere Charlie Sheen-esque "LIN-ing." There is an energy that is contagious that has captured the imagination of millions of fans, from President Obama to basketball aficionados globally. Yet, even beyond the world of sports, the Jeremy Lin story has sparked interest and excitement. Maybe like you, I find myself asking, Why? and What, if anything does it say about us? What does this story have to teach us about our life and leadership?
What draws us to this story? I would suggest that it has something to do with an "underdog" who makes good. I would suggest that it has something to do with challenging and breaking down stereotypes - Ivy League graduates (Lin is a Harvard grad) and Asian-Americans aren't supposed to be NBA stars. I would suggest it has something to do with our attraction to a star who appears, in many ways, to be quite ordianry, even humble. I would suggest it has something to do with our fasination with a star who talks more about his teammates and teamwork than himself and his own accomplishments and talents. I would suggest that it has something to do with the triumph of the human spirit, the power of dedication, determination and hard work. I would suggest that it has something to do with a role model who leads by example and who concerns himself more with how to help his those around him look good than looking good himself.
Admittedly, this public story is only a little over a week old, but clearly who Jeremy Lin is today has a great deal to do with who he has worked so hard, day-in and day-out, to be. He watches films to learn from his mistakes; and he understands that his mistakes are just opportunities for growth and learning. He speaks in every interview about camaraderie and connection, about the friendships that exist off the court as well as the way his teammates support one another on the court. His example, the way he carries himself on and off the court, inspires not only his teammates to work and play harder, but also provides all those who watch with insight into the power of athletes and individuals coming together as a team, with a common purpose, to accomplish a common goal.
So, as many of us continue to follow this LIN-deralla story, I hope that we all get a little LIN-fected with the desire to persist in pursuing our dreams and discover that the fun and the reward are as likely to be found in the process of following as they are in the realization of those dreams. I hope that we learn a little something from Jeremy Lin about leadership - that true leadership requires sacrifice, selflessness, authenticity, life-long learning and teamwork.
Thank you Jeremy for your good example and for the joy you have already brought to so many. Thank you too for your commitment to giving back to others, for your passion and energy, and for your willingness to spend summers in Taiwan coaching young kids and helping them learn the sport you clearly love so much.
You have reminded me, in your short time as a "star" that the true stars, true leaders, are those who create community and make those around them better; the true stars, true leaders, are those who build up others rather than break others down; the true stars, true leaders, are as likely to assist as they are to score; the true stars, true leaders, lead by example; the true stars, true leaders, do not necessarily do great things, but rather do all the little things with great passion, compassion and love.
Thank you Jeremy. LIN Long and Prosper!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)