Relentless Love

This phrase, "Relentless Love," speaks to me, relentlessly, inviting me to return, after a three month respite, to writing, to my blog, where I share a few simple thoughts, a poem, a story, a scripture and a question or two.

A few thoughts: As I relentlessly stumble toward my deepest truth, struggling to listen deeply to the still, solemn voice that whispers in the depths of my soul, I find that some days I live it well and rest in the blessing of the meditation bell, while other days I stumble and flee and resist the invitation to do that which would set me free.

A poem: On these days, in these moments, I am reminded of Francis Thompson's haunting poem, The Hound of Heaven, which begins:  

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat-and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet-
'All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.'

A story: When I was a boy, I loved autumn days when the leaves would fall and float gently down as I ran to catch as many as I could before they touched the ground. I loved to gather the fallen leaves in piles upon piles and jump into their pillowy embrace with abandon. I felt profoundly alive and free. Some days I would simply lie there in the leaves and stare up at the immensity of the sky, surrounded by the naked beauty of the trees, and know somehow that I was at peace, in a sacred place.  I would somehow sense that we "inter-be," as Thich Nhat Hanh would say. Maybe today I would call it grace or gift or just a lovely memory. Despite our family's woes, I would say now that I came to know then that love persists, that something bigger than me relentlessly wants me to be free. This memory stays with me.  It somehow comforts me.  It reminds me of Gandhi's relentless faith in the power of love and grace. As he says,

When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.

A scripture: I also remember riding in a car with my family when I was a boy, maybe eleven or twelve. My parents were arguing relentlessly as they often did about finances.  I found myself in my mind's eye resting in the leaves, feeling relentlessly free; and then I found myself reminding my parents of the sacred words that had been read earlier that day at the church service we had attended:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life. - Matthew 6:25

As I grow older, I find that both the grace and comfort of the leaves and the trees, as well as my parents' worry about finances and life's struggles, both relentlessly pursue me down the nights and down the days. When I find myself falling prey to fear or sadness, despair or worry, I call to mind Gandhi's truth, and love's relentless pursuit. I look deeply to see, with Thich Nhat Hanh, that we inter-be. We are connected. We are sisters and brothers. Thus, harm to you results in harm to me, harm to the leaves and trees results in harm to us moving together toward that which would set us free. I sit still, breathe in, breathe out, and relentlessly recite the mantra that love, that still small voice within, speaks to me: "do not worry, do not be afraid, love is relentless, it is for love you are made."

A few questions: How will you relentlessly pursue love today? How will you allow yourself to be relentlessly pursued by love? What is relentless in your life, inviting you to move through fear to deeper truth and freedom?

2013 Global Peace Index (GPI)

This blog is dedicated to Steve Killelea and Vision of Humanity and their recently released 2013 Global Peace Index (GPI).  My hope and prayer is that as we look and listen deeply to the data, reflect upon it given our particular education, experience and expertise, we will be inspired to act, to labor in love, for a more peaceful and just global community. Let us work tirelessly, together, to create peace in our hearts, our home, our community and our world.  Much peace to you.

2013 GPI

The GPI measures peace in 162 countries according to 22 qualitative and quantitative indicators of the absence of violence and fear of violence. This is the 7th annual edition of the index.

The 2013 Global Peace Index (GPI) video explores peace around the world over the last year, and identifies the most peaceful and least peaceful countries. Click link to view video: 2013 GPI Video

Highlights

• The world has become 5% less peaceful since 2008
• Europe is the most peaceful region, with 13 of the top 20 most peaceful countries
• War ravaged Afghanistan returns to the bottom of the index
• Syria’s GPI score has fallen by 70% sine 2008
• The total economic impact of containing violence is estimated to be US$9.46 trillion in 2012

Results

• The top three most peaceful countries are Iceland, Denmark and New Zealand. Small and stable democracies make up the top ten most peaceful countries.
• With a newly elected government and a steady recovery from the 2011 turmoil, Libya had the biggest improvement in peace score since last year.
• The three least peaceful countries are Afghanistan, Somalia and Syria.
• Syria’s score dropped by the largest margin, with the biggest ever score deterioration in the history of the GPI.

Trends

• Since the 2008, 110 countries have become less peaceful, while 48 have improved their score.
• Three main factors that have contributed to the deterioration in peace scores from 2012-2013: the number of homicides, military expenditure as a percentage of GDP and political instability.
• The number of deaths from internal conflicts has risen significantly. In the past year, the drug war in Mexico claimed twice as many lives as the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Economic impact

The total economic impact of containing violence is equivalent to 11% of global GDP, or US $9.46 trillion. If the world could reduce the cost of violence by 50% it would generate enough money to repay the debt of the developing world, provide enough money for the European stability mechanism, and fund the additional amount required to fund the Millennium Development Goals.

Interactive Map

2013 GPI interactive map. Click link to view interactive map: 2013 GPI Interactive Map

Memorial Day tribute - Honoring West Point Graduate, Captain Paul Chappell

"Captain Paul K. Chappell has given us a crucial look at war and peace from

the unique perspective of a soldier, and his new ideas show us why world peace

is both necessary and possible in the 21st century."

 

- Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

 

In order to celebrate Memorial Day weekend, to remember and lift up our soldiers, all those who have given their lives for a higher purpose, for love, family, community, and the ideals for which our country stands, and upon which it was founded, I share with you the story and message of a soldier and warrior for peace, Captain Paul K. Chappell. 

 

Captain Chappell graduated from West Point in 2002, was deployed to Iraq, and left active duty in November 2009 as a Captain. He is the author of the Road to Peace series, a seven-book series about waging peace, ending war, the art of living, and what it means to be human.

Chappell serves as the Peace Leadership Director for the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation. Lecturing across the country and internationally, he also teaches college courses and workshops on Peace Leadership. He grew up in Alabama, the son of a half-black and half-white father who fought in the Korean and Vietnam wars, and a Korean mother. He lives in Santa Barbara, California.

You can learn more about his campaign to unite Americans to wage peace, the American Unity Project, by going to: http://www.americanunityproject.com

You can visit his website at: www.paulkchappell.com or www.peacefulrevolution.com.

Silence, Story and Song -

Talk to an Iraqi

I am blessed and honored to call Haider Hamza Abdulrazaq my friend.  Each of the past three years, he has taken time from his busy schedule as a PhD candidate, Rhodes Scholar, Program Officer at Open Society Foundations, and award-winning combat photo journalist to share a bit of his story with my Social Justice and Peacemaking students at NYU.  He shares photos he took as an embedded photo journalist with ABC News during the "Shock and Awe" war in Iraq. They are graphic. They are horrific. They are beautiful. They are powerful and profound.

They are challenging and  invite my students and me to examine the devastation and destruction that is war. They humanize the Iraqi people and remind us of the real cost of war and violence.

They remind us that the children and the people of Iraq, Babylon, are beautiful, that they have lived in the cradle of civilization for thousands of years and have given the world some of its most sacred and precious art and culture.

He invites us, in the spirit of great peacemakers like Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh (nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr.), to look and listen deeply to the voices of our "enemy," to the voices of the voiceless, to the voices of those who, on both sides, every side, are the victims of war and violence.

Haider leads by example.  After graduating from Baghdad University in 2006, Haider won a Fulbright Scholarship to study global security and conflict resolution in the United States.  

"New to America and wanting to understand what the American people felt about their country's involvement in Iraq, Haider decided to travel across the US to talk to people about the war. He drove through 35 states setting up a mobile booth with a sign that says 'Talk to an Iraqi.' 

Haider said, 'I always wondered, what do people in American know of what is happening and do they feel responsible...did this war change their lives at all, since it has for sure changed ours dramatically.' 

Part of Haider's journey was aired on NPR and Showtime's 'This American Life'. Haider's powerful and fascinating lecture includes poignant and touching film clips from his road trip in America, a slide of photos he took of post-war Iraq, thoughts on the conflict in his country, the presence of US troops there, his personal struggle to heal the wounds of oppression and commitment today to raise awareness among the young people and send messages of peace and reconciliation."(See: Haider Hamza, Telling the story of his country)

I invite you to 'Talk to an Iraqi', to listen to Haider's story and let it speak to you in the depths of your heart. Let it challenge and inspire you. Let it invite healing and sacred reconciliation in your soul.

May we see in the Iraqi people our sisters, our brothers, and know our well-being, our liberation and peace in our world, to depend on the well-being of our sisters and brothers.

Creating Your Constructive Program

Mahatma Gandhi launched a comprehensive, detailed program of social, political, economic and spiritual uplift for India and called it a constructive program. It was a program that called all to embrace practical steps to improve not only themselves but also their community, country and world.

Joanne Sheehan, in Gandhi's Three Elements of Nonviolent Social Transformation, shares, "We are quick to identify and protest the things we don't like in our society, but we are often asked 'so what are you for?' As revolutionaries we need to start building a new society in the shell of the old. Gandhi said we should not wait for one to crumble before starting the other. Constructive program brings people together to do the kind of community work that is empowering, bringing them to a point of self reliance and being ready to develop a new society. To outline a nonviolent campaign involving all these elements, we need to begin to identify where the change is needed. Gandhi identified 18 elements of constructive program in India that included removal of untouchability, developing village industries, sanitation, basic education, national language, spinning cloth as a symbol of economic freedom, labor unions, involving students, and caring for lepers. These are not a specific model for us, but ones that we can begin to get help from as we look at the changes needed in our society to begin to build a new one."

In this spirit, I invite my students in our Social Justice and Peacemaking course at NYU to create their own constructive program. I challenge them to consider the practical steps they need to take with respect to their lifestyle and personal choices and disciplines in order to connect to their deepest desires and truth, and to create the community and culture they want for themselves, their family and for future generations. I ask them to think about practices that can build and discipline their body and biology, i.e. diet, nutrition and exercise. I ask them to think about what will help them develop their intellectual, psychological and mental health and well-being, i.e. reading, writing, counseling and study. I ask them to consider actions that will better their social, relational being, i.e. joining community organizations and doing service work. I ask them to think about spiritual practices that will help them move toward deeper truth, compassion and deep peace, i.e. prayer, meditation and creative expression.  The purpose of this exercise is not merely to encourage personal growth, but also to challenge students to consider, as Sheehan says, "changes needed in our society to build a new one."

So, my invitation to you is to take the time to create your own constructive program, to join in the liberating labor of love that is our sacred duty, to develop and use the gifts we each have been given to build Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "beloved community." May you know yourself to be a beloved child of our Creator.  May you live your constructive program in the world.  In the process, you will not only become the person you want and were created to be but also you will help others, and all of us become who we were meant to be as well.  Peace and blessings to you.

Their Secret, Prayer

I have asked many great spiritual leaders, like Mairead Maguire, Kathy Kelly, Arun Gandhi and yes even Mother Teresa, with whom I had the privilege of working in Calcutta, India, "What is your secret? How do you remain faithful and continue to do what you do, love in the face of such pain, suffering and violence?  All replied with the same one-word answer, "Prayer."  Their secret it seems, from their perspective, was as simple and as profound as the word, the act of, prayer.

What is prayer? Indeed, there is something mysterious or secretive about it.  Prayer occurs in the sacred and secretive depths of one's being, in the silence of the soul.  Prayer can be a conversation. Prayer can be total silence.  Prayer can occur when one is still or when when one sings or walks or works meditatively.  Prayer requires presence, full awareness and listening. Prayer pays attention. Prayer requires truth and honesty.  Prayer is about relationship.  Prayer is done all alone. Prayer is about blessing and being blessed.  Prayer searches.  Prayer accepts. Prayer can be playful.  Prayer can be pained.  Prayer is melody.  Prayer seeks harmony.  Prayer is question. Prayer is answer. Prayer heals. Prayer reconciles.  Prayer restores right relationship. Prayer liberates. Prayer cries out. And if we believe spiritual mentors and leaders from all traditions, cultures, geographies, across the millennia, prayer is the secret to living life to its fullest, to living a liberated life that sees most deeply the truth that we are mysteriously connected, that we are all sisters and brothers, beloved community.

Yesterday the Catholic Cardinals selected a Pope.  What many, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, seemed to be moved, if not captivated, by was Pope Francis' first relational act with the people, he bowed humbly and asked the people to pray for him.  Clearly, by this simple, sacred act, he was rooting himself in prayer, not merely his own prayer, but the power of prayer, and his own need not only to pray but also to be prayed for.  The secret of prayer is that it simultaneously gives and receives, simultaneously sets the self aside and allows one to touch the depths of one's truest self.  

Call it what you will, we are being invited by these spiritual leaders to take time to pray, to meditate, to enter into silence, to be fully present to both our sacred gifts and our sacred neediness. Let us continue to hold one another in prayer, to bow to the divine present in each of us, to enter into the mystery and secret power that prayer possess, that we possess in prayer.

Empathy and Hope

What does it mean to empathize? To have empathy? I suggest that it requires first that we see in the 'other' our sister, our brother.  That we strive to put ourselves in the place of the other, that we contemplate what it is that she or he is experiencing. That we attempt, as best we can, to walk in the shoes or sandals of the other.  Empathy, by definition, "is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another sentient or fictional being."  It is the precursor to compassion. For,  "one may need to have a certain amount of empathy before being able to experience compassion."

Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that it is not enough to say that we 'are.' We must come to know and see, with all of our senses and our entire being, that we 'inter-are.' We exist in relationship.  We are connected. Our well-being is dependent upon the well-being of others. Our very being, our life, is woven into the fabric of our inter-being, the life of our sisters and brothers, our human community, our ecological and environmental interdependence.  The very air we breathe, the life we live, depends upon the trees, the plants, the sky, the earth, the oceans, the parents, sisters, brothers, with whom we share this extraordinary time and place.

What if we saw the gang member as our brother? What if we saw the terrorist as our sister? What if we saw, empathized with, recognized and experienced the emotions of the downtrodden, the outsider, the homeless, the mentally ill, the neglected, the orphan, the widow, as our own?  What might be different? What might our life and family and community look like?

Can we see with the eyes of love, that we are all brothers and sisters of love? Can we experience profoundly what it means truly to stand in someone elses shoes? Can we absorb the delight of kinship?

If we can, how can we not then bow before the mystery and grace of life and smile, and maybe even sing an Ode to Joy?

Empathy invites us to see differently and deeply, to love tenderly, to live justice, and to walk humbly with our sisters and brothers, our ancestors, our fathers and mothers, our Creator.  Empathy compels compassion and compassion "is regarded as a fundamental part of human love, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism." Empathy calls us to compassion. Compassion invites love, connection and community.  Love, connection and community allow us to care for our children and hear a child sing of amazing grace.

As we listen to her song, how can we not then discover our own, native, indigenous grace and the song we are meant to sing with empathy, compassion, love, joy and hope in the world?

 

This is my hope for me, for you, for all of us - that in empathy you know compassion and love, and that this knowing leads you to joy, and song and hope. May you be full of hope. May you be hope-full.

I must...

When I was a child, I used to love the speed and thrill of sledding in the winter. I used to love the first warm spring day when we pulled out our baseball gloves for our own spring training. I used to love the long summer days that seemed to never end, playing Kick the Can and Capture the Flag late into the night. I used to love lying out in the soft summer grass, gazing up at the clouds, searching for shapes and stories in the summer sky. I used to love looking up at the night sky to see if I could find Orion's Belt. I used to love catching leaves, aflame with color, floating gently down on a fresh fall afternoon. 

Lately, I've been wondering what it was that made those childhood moments so magical. What made me feel so alive? What filled my soul with such joy and light? 

What about you? What fired you up and made you feel fully alive as a child? What brought a smile to your face, a tear to your eye, a shiver to your soul?  What made you want to sing or dance or play or share your deepest heart's longing? What helped you know yourself, your truth, most deeply?

Was it a particular place? Was it a person? Was it a song? Was it a still moment? Was it a story?  As you call to mind the source of your inspiration, the feelings, the place, the moment, ask yourself what made it sacred? What made you feel holy? What made you whole?

Only you can answer these questions.  Only you can find and know your truth.  As you do so, you will find life, liberation, love.  As you do, you will know the ache that erupts in the core of your being and cries out, "I must... for I can do nothing else."

I must write. I must sing. I must dance. I must draw. I must paint. I must help. I must learn. I must tell my story. I must pray. I must sit still. I must run. I must play. I must work. I must rest. I must feel.

I must moves us from fear to freedom.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison because he could do nothing else. Mother Teresa picked up the first person lying destitute in the streets of Calcutta because she could do nothing else. Vincent van Gogh painted Starry Night because he could do nothing else. Joni Mitchell wrote and sang River because she could do nothing else. Bob Marley wrote and sang Redemption Song because he could do nothing else. Mairead Maguire and Betty Williams founded Peace People because they could do nothing else.

Lately, I've been wondering what it was that made those childhood moments so magical. What made me feel so alive? What filled my soul with such joy and light? 

 

Maybe the answer has something to do with the grace, energy and mystery of the must.  What must you do?

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

The Mirror

I always say to the kids with whom I work, "If you're gonna point a finger, you better be lookin' in the mirror first." Most pause & reflect. Once one decided to give me the finger; I had my pocket mirror ready.  

When confronted with injustice or a 'teachable moment,' Stop. Reflect. And if you're compelled to say something, to Act, try to do so in a way that invites the other to see that in criticizing or condemning another, they are condemning themselves. As Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, we 'inter-are' - we are all connected. We need each other find our deepest truth and real life and liberation.

You never know who may hear or read your mirror invitation or how they will respond. I think the hardest thing to do when challenging others to look in the mirror can be to let go of the need to 'win' or change the other person's heart or mind. Ultimately, that is out of our hands. We can only speak truth, live kindness and compassion, and invite others to see that we are all connected, we are all sisters and brothers. 

Maybe just as difficult is to look in the mirror and see ourselves as we truly are, broken? Yes.  But also beautiful, blessed, beloved daughters and sons of a loving Creator.  Any opportunity to see this truth most deeply in ourselves and invite others to see this truth in her or himself, is a moment of grace, a gift we can give ourselves and the world.

Embrace these 'mirror moments' with humility, courage, conviction and a smile. In so doing, I trust that you will help facilitate sacred transformation and release an energy in the world that is desperately needed. It may not be easy, but "if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change."  And as you look in the mirror and see the potential for change in yourself, you will liberate yourself to see the potential for change in others.

Much peace to you!

Warrior Spirit, Suffering & Salvation

One of the most difficult lessons I teach in our Social Justice & Peacemaking class at NYU is one of Dr. King's 6 primary principles of nonviolence. The principle challenges us to: Accept suffering without retaliation for the sake of the cause to achieve the goal.

According to King, "Self-chosen suffering is redemptive and helps the movement grow in a spiritual as well as a humanitarian dimension. The moral authority of voluntary suffering for a goal communicates the concern to one’s own friends and community as well as to the opponent." Dr. King's Redemptive Suffering.

Most ask, why would anyone freely choose suffering? Why would anyone fast, for example, or freely submit to verbal or even physical harm? The answer, for King, Gandhi and countless other spiritual warriors who challenge us to consider the way of love, compassion and active nonviolence, is as simple and as complex as the word truth.  According to these peace and spirit warriors, truth cannot be found alone, without the other, even our enemy. And our enemy, even perpetrators of violence, possess, somehow, a piece of the truth. As Thich Nhat Hanh (who Dr. King nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize) says, we "inter-are."  We are inextricably connected.  Thus, we cannot, as a people, as a society, make our way to the truth without one another.

Furthermore, these spirit warriors challenge us to consider that harm to another does harm to the self; and harm to the self results in harm to all.  We all are a part of the fabric, the web, of life, for better or worse.  Again, it's as simple and as complicated as the scriptural mandate to "love your enemy."

Spiritual traditions do not merely tell us that we must love one another; they add (though we don't often want to really consider what it truly means, myself included) that we must find a way to love, even our enemies.  As King shares, that does not mean that we have to like our enemies. It does mean, however, that we have to live lives, to the best of our ability, that invite our "enemies" to see differently, to turn from violence and war and hatred, to see that they, all of us, are members of the human family, a community. Subsequently, in the words of Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, we, individually and together, either "get busy living or get busy dying."

The Buddhists remind us that life is suffering.  No one escapes suffering.  The question is will our suffering bring us together or divide us.  Will it help us work together for peace and deeper understanding or will it destroy us? King reminds us that we have a choice.  If we want to be spiritual warriors, if we want to be fully human, we must accept suffering without violent retaliation for the sake of our collective redemption and liberation.  This does not mean that we seek suffering for its own sake, or that we invite or accept abuse; rather, it means that when suffering comes, we refuse to inflict suffering in return.  Again, this is not easy. This is why it is the way of the spiritual warrior; it takes profound courage.  King and others tell us, however, that if we can do so, we invite transformation of heart and mind that brings the possibility for true and lasting peace and freedom.

Liu Xiaobo, 2010 Nobel Peace Laureate from China, a spiritual warrior, in the face of violence, abuse and oppression, exclaims, “I have no enemies and no hatred."  In his trial, where he was sentenced to eleven years in prison for speaking out on behalf of democracy and freedom, he proclaims: "But I wish to make clear that I continue to stand behind my 'June 2nd Hunger-Strike Declaration' of twenty years ago: I have no enemies, and no hatred.… Hatred only eats away at a person’s intelligence and conscience, and an enemy mentality [as our country since the Mao era has seen] can poison the spirit of an entire people, lead to cruel and lethal conflict among our own people, destroy tolerance and human feeling within a society, and block the progress of a nation toward freedom and democracy. For these reasons I hope I can rise above my personal fate to contribute to progress for our country and to changes in our society. I hope that I can answer the regime’s enmity with utmost benevolence, and that I might use love to dissipate hate." [Link, Perry (2011-05-10). Liu Xiaobo's Empty Chair: Chronicling the Reform Movement Beijing Fears Most; Includes the full text of Charter 08 and other primary documents (Kindle Locations 768-770). Random House Inc Clients. Kindle Edition.] See also: I Have No Enemies.

I leave you with the words of Mahatma Gandhi. They capture the essence of the warrior spirit that has the power to lead us beyond suffering to sacred salvation:

"I am not a visionary. I claim to be a practical idealist. The religion of nonviolence is not meant merely for the rishis and saints. It is meant for the common people as well. Nonviolence is the law of our species as violence is the law of the brute. The spirit lies dormant in the brute and he knows no law but that of physical might. The dignity of man requires obedience to a higher law—to the strength of the spirit.

“I have therefore ventured to place before India the ancient law of self-sacrifice. For satyagraha and its offshoots, non-cooperation and civil resistance, are nothing but new names for the law of suffering. The rishis who discovered the law of nonviolence in the midst of violence were greater geniuses than Newton. They were themselves greater warriors than Wellington. Although knowledgeable in the use of arms, they realized their uselessness and taught a weary world that its salvation lay not through violence but through nonviolence." [Attenborough, Richard; Mahatma Gandhi (2001-10-19). The Words of Gandhi (Newmarket Words Of Series) (p. 41). Perseus Distribution-A. Kindle Edition.]

Anyway

This version of the poem Anyway, based on a composition originally written by Dr. Kent Keith, is attributed to Mother Teresa.  It hangs on the wall of the Missionaries of Charity's home for children in Calcutta. I had the privilege of living and working with Mother Teresa for a summer in 1996.  These words inspired her and remained very close to her heart.  By her deeds, she brought them to life and challenged us to live them as well. Even if you'd rather not have these words speak to you, I find that they will speak to you anyway...  

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

To see each other through

I have returned from some time away and once again will be posting a weekly blog here on Nicotera Notes - hopefully providing tools, resources and insights that are useful to you as we all seek to live our truth in the world.  I'd like to dedicate this reflection, my first in while, to all those affected by Sandy, in particular to all those who, in the midst of great trial, helped "to see each other through."

Last week, while attending the Association of Fundraising Professionals of NJ's (AFP NJ) annual conference on philanthropy, I had the opportunity to spend a few moments with AFP's keynote speaker, author, entrepreneur and co-founder, Chairman & CEO of BCT Partners, Dr. Randal Pinkett. 

What impressed me most about Dr. Pinkett was not that he had won The Apprentice, has multiple degrees from Oxford, MIT and Rutgers, or even that he was a Rhodes Scholar.  What impressed me most about him was the fact that long before I met him at the Conference, out of the public eye, he took time to mentor one of our students from Newark's Cristo Rey School, Christ the King Prep.  

Dr. Pinkett, from my perspective, walks the walk when talking about the importance of giving back to the community and building Dr. King's beloved community.  He gave our student, Robert D'Ambreville, the opportunity to work at BCT Partners; but more than this, he took the time to mentor a young man from Newark, encouraging him and helping him to see that with hard work, discipline and perseverence, he can accomplish his dreams and realize his deepest desires.

One of the things Dr. Pinkett shared with us during his remarks remains with me, especially as I think about Robert, now a college sophomore, and as I reflect upon the devastation, loss and pain so many of us experienced as a result of "Super-storm Sandy" (which is ever-present for us as we wait, with a patched roof, for insurance and FEMA money to arrive having had a tree fall on our home, but deeply grateful for our health and safety).  Dr. Pinkett said that "we must not see through each other but rather see each other through."  What inspires me about Dr. Pinkett is not his charisma or intellect, though I respect and appreciate both, but what speaks to me in the depths of my heart and soul, what moves me in the marrow of my bones, is the fact that he "helped see Robert through." 

Similarly, what encourages me, despite Sandy's destruction, is that so many neighbors and strangers alike took the time, and continue to do so, "to see each other through."  In a fast-paced society and a culture that often moves at the speed of technology, and seems to be careening out of control, in a society where, let's face it, we often see through each other and go about our business without paying much attention to the needs of our neighbor, Dr. Pinkett and all the ordinary heroes and inspirational neighbors and strangers who came together "to see each other through" during and after Sandy invite me and all of us to remember what is most important, that we truly find our best selves and deepest truth when we lose ourselves in service to, and care for, one another and see each other through.

For more information, check out: Nicotera Consulting; or on Nicotera Consulting on Facebook

Dear Followers,

The International Association of Professional Life Coaches™ (IAPLC) of which I am a member announces the launch of part one of a transformational, free tele-seminar series, “Dynamic Tools for Creating A Rich, Successful, and Fulfilling Life,” May 21 - June 4. Full details and registration information are at http://iaplifecoaches.org/telesummit-registration.html.

I will be featured on June 3.  I hope that you will join us.  More details follow.

Featuring the work of 15 expert life coaches, the event showcases the unique work of the co-authors of the widely-anticipated IAPLC book release, How To Create A Rich, Successful, and Fulfilling Life: Dynamic Tools for Overcoming Obstacles and Creating Rapid Transformation, slated for publication in June.

IAPLC is an International professional association dedicated exclusively to the life coaching industry with membership standards based on coaching experience and client references. The IAPLC combines a premier user-friendly online directory with group business-building activities for its members so they can grow their coaching businesses and get more clients.
During this telesummit, these 15 expert coaches, all members of the IAPLC, provide a rich and empowering experience for the audience, sharing top secrets for overcoming obstacles, making transformations, and collectively healing the planet.
In the IAPLC telesummit, individuals ready to grow their life’s purpose will have the opportunity to experience the work of expert life coaches first-hand, accessing ways to:
Impact your abilities to implement boundaries

• Overcome challenges with mindset tools
• Release emotional trauma
• Experience joy and enthusiasm
• Explore what’s holding you back
• Forgive powerfully and completely
• Skyrocket your net-worth
• And much more!

The transformational, free tele-seminar series from International Association of Professional Life Coaches™, “Dynamic Tools for Creating A Rich, Abundant, And Fulfilling Life,” is May 21 - June 4. For a complete listing of topics and dates, or to register for this high-value, free seminar series visit:
http://iaplifecoaches.org/telesummit-registration.html

See you there!

Much peace,
Anthony

LIN-SANITY Lessons

To LIN-finity and Beyond.... NYC gets a shot of Adrena-LIN... What is going on with the New York Knicks and the Jeremy Lin craze?  What does it have to teach us about ourselves, about teamwork, persistence and leadership? 

Beyond the 7 straight wins since Jeremy has started at point guard, beyond scoring 136 points in his first 5 NBA starts, the most by any NBA player since the NBA merged with the ABA in 1976, it seems to me that something is happening that transcends a mere Charlie Sheen-esque "LIN-ing." There is an energy that is contagious that has captured the imagination of millions of fans, from President Obama to basketball aficionados globally.  Yet, even beyond the world of sports, the Jeremy Lin story has sparked interest and excitement. Maybe like you, I find myself asking, Why? and What, if anything does it say about us? What does this story have to teach us about our life and leadership?

What draws us to this story?  I would suggest that it has something to do with an "underdog" who makes good.  I would suggest that it has something to do with challenging and breaking down stereotypes - Ivy League graduates (Lin is a Harvard grad) and Asian-Americans aren't supposed to be NBA stars.  I would suggest it has something to do with our attraction to a star who appears, in many ways, to be quite ordianry, even humble.  I would suggest it has something to do with our fasination with a star who talks more about his teammates and teamwork than himself and his own accomplishments and talents. I would suggest that it has something to do with the triumph of the human spirit, the power of dedication, determination and hard work.  I would suggest that it has something to do with a role model who leads by example and who concerns himself more with how to help his those around him look good than looking good himself.

Admittedly, this public story is only a little over a week old, but clearly who Jeremy Lin is today has a great deal to do with who he has worked so hard, day-in and day-out, to be.  He watches films to learn from his mistakes; and he understands that his mistakes are just opportunities for growth and learning.  He speaks in every interview about camaraderie and connection, about the friendships that exist off the court as well as the way his teammates support one another on the court. His example, the way he carries himself on and off the court, inspires not only his teammates to work and play harder, but also provides all those who watch with insight into the power of athletes and individuals coming together as a team, with a common purpose, to accomplish a common goal.   

So, as many of us continue to follow this LIN-deralla story, I hope that we all get a little LIN-fected with the desire to persist in pursuing our dreams and discover that the fun and the reward are as likely to be found in the process of following as they are in the realization of those dreams. I hope that we learn a little something from Jeremy Lin about leadership - that true leadership requires sacrifice, selflessness, authenticity, life-long learning and teamwork.

Thank you Jeremy for your good example and for the joy you have already brought to so many. Thank you too for your commitment to giving back to others, for your passion and energy, and for your willingness to spend summers in Taiwan coaching young kids and helping them learn the sport you clearly love so much. 


You have reminded me, in your short time as a "star" that the true stars, true leaders, are those who create community and make those around them better; the true stars, true leaders, are those who build up others rather than break others down; the true stars, true leaders, are as likely to assist as they are to score; the true stars, true leaders, lead by example; the true stars, true leaders, do not necessarily do great things, but rather do all the little things with great passion, compassion and love.

Thank you Jeremy.  LIN Long and Prosper!

We say we want peace...

December 10, 2011 - PARIS — In a ceremony in Oslo that repeatedly invoked gender equality and the democratic strivings of the Arab Spring, the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize was presented to three female activists and political leaders on Saturday for “their nonviolent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s rights” as peacemakers. 
(See full NY Times article at: http://nyti.ms/nobelpeaceprize2011)

In my Social Justice and Peacemaking course at NYU, I begin by telling students that I will give them an automatic A if they can tell me who the following persons are.  I then mention names such as Wangari Maathai, Mairead Maguire, Jodi Williams and Aung San Suu Kyi.  All of these women, like the most recent 2011 honorees, President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia, 73; her compatriot Leymah Gbowee, 39, a social worker and a peace activist; and Tawakkol Karman, a Yemeni journalist and a political activist who, at 32, is the youngest Peace Prize laureate and the first Arab woman to receive the award, were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. I have never been able to give away an A.

These women and so many other Nobel Peace Laureates inspire us to live lives dedicated to peace and justice in our world. We say we want peace, but many of us don't know the stories and struggles of those who invite us to create what Gandhi called a constructive program, a practical way of living and proceeding, that builds, through small deeds done with great love (Mother Teresa), what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. called "the beloved community." 

King added, we must choose between community and chaos.  In an often chaotic world where the disparity between the "haves" and "have nots" continues to grow and the "99%" cry out for justice; in a world where the "Arab Spring" is threatened by a long, desolate winter of greed and violence, these women challenge us to overcome that which divides us and work together to create a global community rooted in what Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Buddhist monk nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Dr. King) calls "inter-being."  Hanh calls us to replace the verb "to be" with the verb "to inter-be."  He adds, we cannot be outside of relationship; we exist in relationship to and with one another and our environment.  Furthermore, he adds, harm to another and our environment results in harm to ourselves - we are interconnected.  Thus, in order to create a more peaceful and just society, we necessarily need and depend upon one another.

We say we want peace... I hope that we open ourselves to the words and witness of these inspiring women, our most recent Nobel Peace Prize laureates, and allow their inspiring lives to transform our own.  Much peace to all during this most sacred holiday season.

How do we begin? Know that each of us is called by name

Each of us is called by name to live life authentically.  Mahatma Gandhi proclaims that “truth is God” and invites us all to “experiment with the truth.”  His way of life, termed satyagraha calls each of us, by name, to relentlessly pursue the truth in our lives. To do so with openness, authenticity, humility, compassion and love for our sisters and brothers, recognizing the inherent human dignity present, no matter how deeply buried, in the soul and heart of every human being.  Each of us has a particular name, given us for a particular purpose.  Each of has gifts to share and a story to tell.  Each of us has a song to sing. We are invited to listen to the depths of our own heart and soul and to obey the truth we find there.  As we do so, we invite collective movement toward deeper truth, justice, liberation and healing in the midst of our broken and fractured world. 

How do we begin?  The root of the word obey means to hear or listen.  We begin by obeying that which is the life force within us; we begin by obeying that deeply human desire to connect, with the deepest longings of our soul and with one another; thus, we begin by obeying, listening to, ‘that still small voice within’; we begin by listening actively and deeply, in silence and stillness, to the longings of our heart; we also begin by listening to others, especially those who suffer violence and oppression and who live on the margins of society; we begin by listening to the stories of people who work for and seek justice and peace; we begin by listening to the stories of people on the margins who long for healing and hope. In order to obey, to listen to, our deepest truth, our deepest self, our deepest desires and longings, we must begin in reverent silence. For only in silence can we hear and listen deeply to the truth that will bring peace, justice, healing transformation and true liberation.

September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows

As we approach the 10th anniversary of the 911 attacks on our country, the story of September 11^th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows (Peaceful Tomorrows; see www.peacefultomorrows.org) provides a powerful testament to the possibility of peace and justice in our world, if we will simply listen.   

Peaceful Tomorrows takes their name from the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.” Peaceful Tomorrows is a group of family members who lost loved ones in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, Pentagon and Flight 93 that went down in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.  

In response to these horrific attacks, victims' family members came together to say, “Our grief is not a cry for war.”   

In the months following the attacks, they walked together for peace, from Washington, D.C. to New York; they prayed; they shared their stories of loss and pain; they listened deeply to the stories of grief, fear and terror suffered by other victims of war and terrorism; they traveled to Afghanistan to visit with and listen to victims of war there; and they committed themselves to finding alternatives to war and violence as a response to this horrifying tragedy.  In the spirit of Dr. King, who believed that “violence only begets more violence,” and Mahatma Gandhi, who said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind,” they came together to support one another and invite the United States government to seek creative alternatives to violence and war in response to terrorism. 

Peaceful Tomorrows co-founder, Dave Potorti, poignantly and powerfully shared that he had to tell his mother that her son, his brother, had died in the World Trade Center.  When he told her, he said it was as if someone had kicked her in the gut.  As he reports it, she literally doubled over with grief.  At that moment, he said that he knew one thing for certain: he didn’t want any other mother or family member to go through that kind of pain, to suffer what his mother and family suffered.

When I have shared the story of Peaceful Tomorrows with my students at New York University, almost without exception, I find that not one of them has heard of Peaceful Tomorrows.  Not one of them knows that this group exists, let alone that they were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.   

"Why?" 

 I ask my students to ask themselves why they have never heard of Peaceful Tomorrows.   

I then name a number of recent Nobel Peace Prize Laureates, such as Wangari Mathai, Mairead Maguire, Muhammad Yunis, Shirin Ebadi, Jodi Williams, Joseph Rotblat, Rigoberta Menchu, Aung San Suu Kyi and Oscar Arias, and again my students’ eyes glaze over.  They give me that blank stare that says they have never heard of these global peacemakers.  

Once in a while, a student gives me that quizzical tilt of the head and squints as if she or he's looking far into the deep recesses of her or his mind to search for the name; "Where have I heard that name?" she/he seems to be asking her/himself.  Still, even if the name is somewhat familiar, my students know nothing about the work, words and life of these Nobel Peace Laureates.   

Again, I ask, "Why?"  I ask, "What does this say about our culture, our educational system, our news media, our desire for peace?" I also ask them to ask themselves the question, “If you haven't heard of these internationally known peacemakers, social justice advocates and Nobel Laureates, of whom else haven't you heard?" Again, "Why?" And, "What are you going to do about it?"

I challenge my students, and I challenge you, to listen to the stories of these peacemakers and to open your ears and eyes to the lives and stories that invite us, as individuals and as a global community, to find alternatives to revenge, violence and retaliation. I invite my students, and you, to listen deeply, in reverent silence, to the truth, not only in their, your, own heart, but also in the heart and soul of stories, like those of Peaceful Tomorrows, that present a third way, an alternative to flight or fighting violently, a creative alternative to violence, that seeks deeper truth and authentic transformation of heart, mind and soul, transformation that has the power to turn an "enemy" into a friend.  

As we approach the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks, I invite you: to visit the Peaceful Tomorrows website; to listen deeply to the stories that they and their friends, and fellow victims of war and violence, have to share, especially on their newly formed site 911 stories: our voices, our choices (www.911stories.org); to consider what other voices you may not be hearing and to find a way to listen to them; and to take action that invites understanding, global community building, and movement toward deeper truth, reconciliation and healing.

What are we going to do about it?

I begin each Social Justice and Peacemaking course I teach at NYU by offering my students an opportunity to get an extra 10 points added to their final grade.  "It's simple," I say, "all you have to do is tell me who these six people are and I'll give you the 10 points, and an 83 (B) becomes a 93 (A)." 
The students sit up, their eyes grow a bit wider, and I find that I have their full attention. "I've never been able to give the points away," I add, "I'm hoping today is the day."  My hope is genuine.  I also share that a colleague, Colman McCarthy, former Washington Post columnist and founder of the Center for Teaching Peace, from whom I shamelessly stole this exercise, offers to give away a $100 bill.  I share that on a teacher's salary, I don't have the cash to give away $100, but I can give the 10 points.  I also tell them that Mr. McCarthy tells me that regrettably, he's never been able to give away the $100 just as I've never been able to give away the points.

And so I begin with Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. All of the students can identify these individuals.  I then mention Wangari Maathai, Mairead Maguire, Jodi Williams and Aung San Suu Kyi.  Sadly, none of my students have ever heard of these living Nobel Peace Prize Laureates.  Not one. Their eager faces become blank stares. They look puzzled, eyes vacant and stunned, like deers in headlights.  Some offer curious looks, like small children, full of curiosity but clearly bewildered and clueless.  It's like I'm speaking a foreign language; and in some ways, I am.  When I explain who these international peacemakers and Nobel laureates are, I can see their minds whirling and their eyes full of puzzlement and wonder. It's almost as if a light starts to go on and they begin to consider the simple, but profound question, "Why?" "Why have I never heard of these global peace prize winners and social justice advocates?"

I then invite them to consider a few more questions: "If we say we want peace, why have you never heard of these people?"  "What does that say about our educational system?" I add, "If we have never heard of these Nobel laureates, who and what else have we never heard of?" "What else have we not been taught?"  "What else don't we know?"  "Why?"  "How has our educational system served or failed us?"  And, "What are we going to do about it?"

And so we begin our class with questions, questions that about our educational system, about what we have been taught and learned, and what we have not been taught, what we have not learned, questions about peace, what it is, how it can be achieved, and what voices and stories we need to examine as we work together to create a more peaceful and just global society.  I then challenge my students to seek out this information and wrestle with these questions by diligently researching and searching for answers. I ask them to remain open to expanding their understanding of what it means to work for peace and justice in their own lives, in their local communities and in our world. 

I seek to remain open myself, and teach my students to remain open, to the transformative power that Wangari's planting of trees, Mairead's work to heal and reconcile 'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland, Jodi's effort ban landmines, and Aun San Suu Kyi's persistent effort to work for democracy in Burma (Myanmar) have to teach us about peace, justice, persistence, love, compassion and liberation.  I invite you to ask similar questions, to study and learn about creative alternatives to violence in the pursuit of peace and justice, and to remain open to the transformative power of these people, their words and witness, and the principles that undergird their actions. 

Neftali's story

Neftali was told by his eighth grade guidance counselor that he would amount to nothing, that he was no good and should give up.  He was told that pursuing his dream to go to college to study international relations and become a diplomat or human rights attorney was out of reach; he was beaten down and told that Latino kids from Newark don't have a chance.  Neftali was put on an IEP track and told he was a failure.  He was told that he would end up in a gang and that he should not even attempt to get into a college prep high school.  Neftali didn't listen. Neftali didn't give up.  Neftali knew there was something more for him.

Neftali came to our school, Christ the King Prep, Newark's Cristo Rey High School. He was told that he is beloved, a child of God.  He was told that he could accomplish whatever he set his heart and mind to doing. He was told that he had great gifts and encouraged to pursue his dreams.  Neftali began to commit himself to improving his grades. Neftali got involved in debate and law programs for high school students.  Neftali worked tirelessly to accomplish his goals.  Neftali began to tutor younger children, to encourage them to work hard and pursue their dreams. Neftali was mentored and tutored and encouraged by teachers and counselors who believed in him.  Neftali was invited to teach law to other high school students. Neftali is now excelling.

In his personal statement, written as a part of his college application to Georgetown University, Neftali wrote:
     "I applied to Christ the King Preparatory School, a college-preparatory high school well renowned for its academic austerity.  My decision to apply to Christ the King was rooted in my belief that in order to achieve success, I needed to not only be challenged academically, but, I also needed to place myself in an environment that would support my ambitions.  My first year at Christ the King, however, started off rocky with me failing both history and chemistry classes.  Suddenly, the words of my guidance counselor began to haunt me again. I questioned myself and thought about giving up, but I knew that was not an option.   
      Although the work was exhausting, it was a catalyst for tremendous growth.  By putting myself in intellectually challenging situations, I learned how to develop greater resilience in the face of difficult academic concepts.  While I started off at a deficit, I learned the significance of hard work and perseverance, and as a result, ended up with Second Honors at the end of my junior year: an award bestowed upon students with the second highest GPA.             
      The same eighth grader who was placed on an IEP track alongside the condemning words of my guidance counselor is now making strides at a top high school in Newark, NJ. As a result of marrying perseverance and resilience, I was finally able to prove myself as a competitive academic.  For the past four years, I have been successfully building scholastic habits and skills, laying the foundation for a successful collegiate experience."

Neftali will graduate in June with Christ the King Prep's first graduating class.  Neftali is on track to go to college. Neftali has overcome all the nay-sayers and become a shining example of hope and inspiration not only for his fellow students but also for his teachers and mentors.   

Neftali and I visited Georgetown University last week.  He met with Deans and Professors, Admissions Officers and Georgetown students.  He spoke of wanting to help reduce violence in his community and his world. He spoke of wanting to study international relations at Georgetown's Walsh School of Foreign Service.  He spoke of his determination not only to improve his own life but also the lives of others, especially those who are told that they are no good and will amount to nothing.

Neftali is wating to hear from Georgetown.  As a Georgetown alumus, I hope that they accept him.  He would make my alma mater and any school proud.  However, whatever Georgetown decides, Neftali is already a light shining brightly in the darkness of an often devastating and debilitationg educational system.  Neftali is already a success. Neftali is already making us all proud. 

Neftali's story calls to mind the words of Marion Wright Edelman, founder of the Children's Defense Fund and tireless advocate for justice and human rights: "No person has the right to rain on your dreams." She adds: "If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much."  And it seems to me Neftali also embodies Edelman's challenge: "A lot of people are waiting for Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi to come back - but they are gone. We are it. It is up to us. It is up to you." 

Personally, I'm glad it is up to Neftali.